1. Constant nit-picking, fault-finding and criticism of a trivial nature - the triviality, regularity and frequency betray bullying; often there is a grain of truth (but only a grain) in the criticism to fool you into believing the criticism has validity, which it does not; often, the criticism is based on distortion, misrepresentation or fabrication
2. Simultaneous with the criticism, a constant refusal to acknowledge you and your contributions and achievements or to recognize your existence and value
3. Constant attempts to undermine you and your position, status, worth, value and potential where you are in a group (eg at work), being singled out and treated differently; for instance, everyone else can get away with murder but the moment you put a foot wrong - however trivial - action is taken against you
4. Being isolated and separated from colleagues, excluded from what's going on, marginalized, overruled, ignored, sidelined, frozen out, sent to Coventry
5. Being belittled, demeaned and patronized, especially in front of others
6. Being humiliated, shouted at and threatened, often in front of others
7. Being overloaded with work, or having all your work taken away and replaced with either menial tasks (filing, photocopying, minute taking) or with no work at all
8. Finding that your work - and the credit for it - is stolen and plagiarized
9. Having your responsibility increased but your authority taken away
10. Having annual leave, sickness leave, and - especially - compassionate leave refused
11. Being denied training necessary for you to fulfill your duties
12. Having unrealistic goals set, which change as you approach them
13. Also deadlines which are changed at short notice - or no notice - and without you being informed until it's too late
14. Finding that everything you say and do is twisted, distorted and misrepresented
15. Being subjected to disciplinary procedures with verbal or written warnings imposed for trivial or fabricated reasons and without proper investigation
16. Being coerced into leaving through no fault of your own, constructive dismissal, early or ill-health retirement, etc

How do I recognize a bully?

Who does this describe in your life?

• Jekyll & Hyde nature - vicious and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses; no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive nature - only the current target sees both sides
• is a convincing, compulsive liar and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment
• uses lots of charm and is always plausible and convincing when peers, superiors or others are present; the motive of the charm is deception and its purpose is to compensate for lack of empathy
• relies on mimicry to convince others that they are a "normal" human being but their words, writing and deeds are hollow, superficial and glib
• displays a great deal of certitude and self-absurdness to mask their insecurity
• excels at deception
• exhibits unusual inappropriate attitudes to sexual matters or sexual behavior; underneath the charming exterior there are often suspicions or intimations of sexual harassment, sex discrimination or sexual abuse (sometimes racial prejudice as well)
• exhibits much controlling behavior and is a control freak
• displays a compulsive need to criticize whilst simultaneously refusing to acknowledge, value and praise others
• when called upon to share or address the needs and concerns of others, responds with impatience, irritability and aggression
• often has an overwhelming, unhealthy and narcissistic need to portray themselves as a wonderful, kind, caring and compassionate person, in contrast to their behavior and treatment of others; the bully is oblivious to the discrepancy between how they like to be seen (and believe they are seen), and how they are actually seen
• has an overbearing belief in their qualities of leadership but cannot distinguish between leadership (maturity, decisiveness, assertiveness, trust and integrity) and bullying (immaturity, impulsiveness, aggression, distrust and deceitfulness)
• when called to account, immediately and aggressively denies everything, then counter-attacks with distorted or fabricated criticisms and allegations; if this is insufficient, quickly feigns victim hood, often by bursting into tears (the purpose is to avoid answering the question and thus evade accountability by manipulating others through the use of guilt)
• is also ... aggressive, devious, manipulative, spiteful, vengeful, doesn't listen, can't sustain mature adult conversation, lacks a conscience, shows no remorse, is drawn to power, emotionally cold and flat, humorless, joyless, ungrateful, dysfunctional, disruptive, divisive, rigid and inflexible, selfish, insincere, insecure, immature and deeply inadequate, especially in interpersonal skills